


Backfire

by BluJae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marriage Law Challenge, SSxHG if you squint, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:15:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluJae/pseuds/BluJae
Summary: When a marriage law threatens the muggle-borns they turn to Hermione Granger.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE NOTE: This is a one-shot however there is an alternate ending in chapter two. I liked both of them and couldn't pick so you're welcome to just read this one or pick your favorite. 
> 
> Personally I doubt I could write a proper marriage law fic but I am pretty happy with this one. 
> 
> Don't own the characters and such...not beta'd either.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Severus reared his head back as the words echoed around the great hall. The shocked hush and turned heads revealed the speaker whose eyes were on the newspaper in front of her. Severus narrowed his eyes on Elizabeth Montague, a seventh year Ravenclaw. Strange behavior from the blonde Severus though as his eyes cut to Filius next to him. The Charms Master was staring in shock at the girl and Severus nudged him subtly. While he did enjoy telling students off he wouldn’t overstep the boundaries of another Head of House, especially in such a public setting.

Filius seemed to shake himself and opened his mouth-

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?!”

Severus' head snapped to his own table. Rachel Warren was standing and staring at Montague in shock. He was just about to stand up and berate the girl for cussing in public when another screech turned their heads.

“Oh fuck no!”

“This can’t be fucking right?”

“Is this some tosspots idea of a fucking joke?”

Severus looked at Minerva and then to Albus who seemed entirely perplexed by the morning's events. As it now involved students from all houses it was up to Albus to bring some order. All in all 12 girls had expressed some form of dissent and were now standing and getting progressively angry.

“Oh dear.”

Albus slid the Prophet over to Minerva who had a quick peruse before sucking in a sharp breath. Severus looked over her shoulder.

** Muggle-borns set to marry into pureblood families: New Law.**

“Merlins left tit,” Severus hissed and slid the newspaper for Filius to look at. The half-goblin muttered angrily as he began to read it in more depth than the three of them had.

“What the fuck are we going to do?” Montague asked no one in particular. The other girls looked at each other, frowning and obviously searching for a solution.

“I’ve got it!” Warren said triumphantly snapping her fingers. All twelve girls turned to look at her with expectation. Warren looked inordinately pleased with her self as she smugly crossed her arms.

“Hermione Granger.”

Severus and the other teachers in attendance swiveled their heads to the Gryfindor table only to find the student in question absent. Severus leaned over closer to Minerva. “What the fuck can Miss Granger do?” he hissed ensuring only the Scotswoman could hear him.

She leaned into him. “I’ve no idea but the lasses seem to have faith in her.”

The doors of the Great Hall were then pushed open and Hermione Granger came striding in with a smile on her face and obviously ignoring the fact that she had the attention of everyone. A sharp scramble of limbs and Severus smirked as Granger was accosted by twelves outraged young women. However, she didn’t seem shocked or upset by the attack, instead, smiling at the girls as they angrily waved newspapers in her face.

“I see you’ve found out about the new law.”

Severus leaned forward eager to hear what the know-it-all had planned.

“Well? What are you going to do about it?” Warren snarled.

Granger effected a light frown. “Do? I’m not going to do anything. I’m going to get married. It’s the law.”

A cacophony of reactions assaulted Severus' ears and he was pleased to see almost all the students closest to the little pack cringed and covered their own. Montague was screeching her outrage, Preston was slowing working herself up to a full-blown panic attack and Warren was glaring at Granger like she wanted to smack her fair in the mouth. Granger, however, seemed to be the calm in the storm.

“Girls!” Granger snapped and was satisfied when their squawking calmed down somewhat though Preston hiccupped loudly. “Don't you remember when we were little girls and we planned out our dream weddings?”

Warren frowned her face mirroring the confusion the group had at Granger's words. “Yeah and?”

Granger smiled. “Two words: Alex. Perry.”

Minerva glanced at Severus. “Who is Alex Perry?”

Severus shook his head and shrugged before turning his attention back to Granger who was looking at the girls with anticipation. Becker let out a delighted laugh and spun to the nearest girl.

“Louboutin.”

The girl who Severus noted was a Hufflepuff frowned before realization slipped over her face. “Merlins that’s clever!”

“Mind filling the rest of us in then?” Gilly Somerset, a Gryffindor snapped.

“Vera Wang.”

Claudia Eckhart suddenly jumped and started clapping her hands together excitedly. “Harry Winston,” she gushed dreamily her hands on her cheeks.

That seemed to do something because the rest of the girls' eyes lit up and then they were cackling madly and adding more names to the mix. Severus leaned back thoroughly confused. He was glad he wasn’t the only one as the entire room save the thirteen muggle-borns were affecting the same confusion.

“Do you know who those people are?” Filius asked Severus. Despite being a half-blood and knowing a fair bit about muggles in general he did not understand what was going on and shook his head. Filius hummed. “Well, it’s not muggle-born as the muggle-born boys are just as confused as the rest of us. And it's not directly related to the female gender as the younger muggle-born girls don’t seem to understand either. My, this is a conundrum.”

Severus searched out those he knew to be muggle-born and realized Filius was correct. He looked to Albus and saw that the Headmaster was no closer to an answer as the rest of them. Granger then clapped her hands garnering the attention of everyone at breakfast.

“What are you waiting for? Go and plan your weddings.”

******

“WHERE IS SHE?”

Severus looked up from the second breakfast in a row to be interrupted to see Minister Fudge storming down the rows shaking parchments in his hand. Albus half stood.

“Minister. What a pleasant surprise. May I ask why you have graced us with your presence this fine winters morning?”

The Minister, however, ignored Albus greeting altogether spinning and searching the room for someone. “Where is she Albus?” he bellowed again.

“Who, Minister?”

“WHO Albus? Who? Hermione bloody Granger, that’s who. I know she’s behind this.” He shook the stack as if to emphasize the point though no one knew what that was at present. Some sheaths fell from his grasp and floated to the floor. A student surreptitiously grabbed one and looked at it before scrunching his face up in confusion and dropping back on the ground.

“Hello, minister.”

The girl in question had calmly walked up behind the Minister while he was ranting. He turned on her, looking her up and down in derision before shaking the stack of parchments in her face. She smiled politely at him and Severus could see that he was working himself up into an apoplectic rage by the frenzied shaking of his limbs and the purple face he was now sporting.

“You...this...we...”

“Ah yes. We’re ever so glad you got them. We are so excited, aren’t we ladies?”

Titters arose from across the room and Severus made out the twelves muggle-born females from yesterday grinning and giggling like little fools.

“What the devil is going on?” he whispered to Minerva who shushed him and leaned forward.

“This...this... Travesty can not be born.” Fudge managed.

“Oh, but it must Minister. I’m sure your undersecretary explained everything.”

Fudge swallowed audibly. “He did.”

“Then all is well. When will we be getting our first lot of suitors?” Granger asked eagerly.

Fudge seemed to lose the anger he had prepared and stared almost beseechingly at granger. “You’ll ruin us. Surely we can-”

“Oh no, Minister. We were very careful. You can’t back out now.”

The minister's bowl hat dropped onto the ground as he hung his head. He lifted the papers halfheartedly and looked them over. “We couldn’t possibly...”

“It’s the law though Minister,” Granger said lowly her face dropping her enthusiasm and staring at the man in disgust. “You know as well as I do that this law is required. The rates of squib births amongst pureblood have skyrocketed.”

Filius scoffed. “That's not true at all.”

“Shush Filius,” Minerva hissed. “This is too entertaining.”

Warren stood up. “That's right! _We_ are the only ones who can save the population! _We_ are needed to save us from the brink of extinction.”

Severus could not stop the incredulous look he directed at Warren for that ridiculous piece of shit that came from her mouth. Warren was normally a quiet student not prone to dramatics in the slightest. Fudge turned to stare at the young Slytherin a frown marring his face.

“She’s correct,” Montegue said standing as well and looking at Warren and then at the Minister. “The thirteen of us and the twenty-four other muggle-born who fall within the correct parameters will obviously be heroes in the stories to come.”

Gilly Somerset stood up too. “Thirty-six amazing witches single-handedly saving the wizarding world by producing two babies each. Remarkable isn't it?” She blandly turned to face the Minister and glared at him. Fudge spluttered under her unimpressed gaze. Claudia Eckhart who was seated closest to the Minister stood as well and took a step towards the man. He stumbled back.

“Correct me if my math is off Minister Fudge but that would mean seventy-two children will be born in the next five years. How does a rise of only two percent help our population?”

Fudge swallowed heavily and turned away from her, letting out a squark when he ran into Granger. Her arms were crossed and she did not look at all impressed with the man. “That number does seem low Minister. Perhaps you should include the half-bloods as well? Or even the purebloods?”

The subsequent uproar of the rest of the student body caused Fudge to go white. He struggled to get his mouth working and raised his hands for quiet. The students all subsided eager to hear the minister's words.

“Do not fret, students. I will not be enacting another marriage law.”

The students let out a collective sigh of relief and Severus was disgusted by the fact they had been more concerned over the potential their own future in jeopardy than that of the students who were actually caught up in the law.

“So just us then Minister?” Granger asked an eyebrow raised high on her forehead. The Minister said nothing choosing to glare at the Gryffindor instead. She smiled at him and Severus had never seen such a cold look on her face. She leaned over and picked up one of the pieces of parchment he had dropped and thrust it at him. “Very well. You had best get your people filing those then. We very much look forward to our big days.”

“You think you're so clever, Granger?” Fudge said snarling in Granger's face. Severus made to get up, to protect his student from the obviously incensed wizard but Minerva pulled him back down. The Minister grabbed at the parchment she was still holding out to him and held it up to her face before tearing it down the middle. Granger watched it calmly float to the floor.

“Does that mean we’re not getting our weddings? That the law will be rescinded?” She asked mildly. Fudge stared at her angrily.

“Obviously Granger,” he spat and scooped up his hat before storming from the room. The little-know-it all grinned as the other girls let out whoops of happiness and rushed over to congratulate her though for what Severus was still unsure of.

Severus summoned one of the parchments that had been dropped and caught it neatly in his hand. Both Minerva and Filius leaned over and read.

“Miss Granger?” Minerva called and Granger made her way over to the head table stopping in front of her Head of House.

“What is this?”

Granger grinned. “It's my wedding plan,” Granger explained sweetly. “You see as we are muggle-borns we are without magical representation in the magical world. As such the ministry usually steps in as a pseudo parent in this case. Within the wedding act, the law is subjecting us to, all costs of the wedding must be paid for by the father of the bride.”

“But almost no one does muggle weddings in the magical world.”

“Correct. However, it is well within the right of the muggle-born to request it.”

Severus smirked and glanced down at the paper again. “And you all requested it.”

“Even the other muggle-borns outside of the school.”

“That's positively Slytherin of you miss granger.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment sir.” He waved her away and she let out a laugh as she joined Gilly Somerset at the Gryffindor table.

“These items are horrendously expensive,” Minerva remarked her eyes trailing the list. "The Ministry couldn't afford one of these weddings let alone thirty-six!"

“Such a clever girl that one,” Filius said with a grin.

“I wonder...what is the function of a g-string?”

Almost all the students closest to the heads table gawked awkwardly at the headmaster's words. Minerva huffed angrily and snatched the parchment from his hands.

“Kill me now Albus and save me from your foolishness.”

Severus chuckled and went back to eating his breakfast extremely pleased with how the morning turned out.

_ FIN_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter is an alternate ending of the same work...a little more Hermione x Severus


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again don't own not beta'd

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Severus reared his head back as the words echoed around the great hall. The shocked hush and turned heads revealed the speaker whose eyes were on the newspaper in front of her. Severus narrowed his eyes on Elizabeth Montagggue, a seventh year Ravenclaw. Strange behavior from the blonde Severus though as his eyes cut to Filius next to him. The Charms Master was staring in shock at the girl and Severus nudged him subtly. While he did enjoy telling students off he wouldn’t overstep the boundaries of another Head of House, especially in such a public setting.

Filius seemed to shake himself and opened his mouth-

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?!”

Severus' head snapped to his own table. Rachel Warren was standing and staring at Montague in shock. He was just about to stand up and berate the girl for cussing in public when another screech turned their heads.

“Oh fuck no!”

“This can’t be fucking right?”

“Is this some tosspots idea of a fucking joke?”

Severus looked at Minerva and then to Albus who seemed entirely perplexed by the morning's events. As it now involved students from all houses it was up to Albus to bring some order. All in all 12 girls had expressed some form of dissent and were now standing and getting progressively angry.

“Oh dear.”

Albus slid the Prophet over to Minerva who had a quick peruse before sucking in a sharp breath. Severus looked over her shoulder.

** Muggle-borns set to marry into pureblood families: New Law.**

“Merlins left tit,” Severus hissed and slid the newspaper for Filius to look at. The half-goblin muttered angrily as he began to read it in more depth than the three of them had.

“What the fuck are we going to do?” Montague asked no one in particular. The other girls looked at each other, frowning and obviously searching for a solution.

“I’ve got it!” Warren said triumphantly snapping her fingers. All twelve girls turned to look at her with expectation. Warren looked inordinately pleased with her self as she smugly crossed her arms.

“Hermione Granger.”

Severus and the other teachers in attendance swiveled their heads to the Gryfindor table only to find the student in question absent. Severus leaned over closer to Minerva. “What the fuck can Miss Granger do?” he hissed ensuring only the Scotswoman could hear him.

She leaned into him. “I’ve no idea but the lasses seem to have faith in her.”

The doors of the Great Hall were then pushed open and Hermione Granger came striding in with a smile on her face and obviously ignoring the fact that she had the attention of everyone. A sharp scramble of limbs and Severus smirked as Granger was accosted by twelves outraged young women. However, she didn’t seem shocked or upset by the attack, instead, smiling at the girls as they angrily waved newspapers in her face.

“I see you’ve found out about the new law.”

Severus leaned forward eager to hear what the know-it-all had planned.

“Well? What are you going to do about it?” Warren snarled.

Granger effected a light frown. “Do? I’m not going to do anything. I’m going to get married. It’s the law.”

A cacophony of reactions assaulted Severus' ears and he was pleased to see almost all the students closest to the little pack cringed and covered their own. Montague was screeching her outrage, Preston was slowing working herself up to a full-blown panic attack and Warren was glaring at Granger like she wanted to smack her fair in the mouth. Granger, however, seemed to be the calm in the storm.

“Girls!” Granger snapped and was satisfied when their squawking calmed down somewhat though Preston hiccupped loudly. “Don't you remember when we were little girls and we planned out our dream weddings?”

Warren frowned her face mirroring the confusion the group had at Granger's words. “Yeah and?”

Granger smiled. “Two words: Alex. Perry.”

Minerva glanced at Severus. “Who is Alex Perry?”

Severus shook his head and shrugged before turning his attention back to Granger who was looking at the girls with anticipation. Becker let out a delighted laugh and spun to the nearest girl.

“Louboutin.”

The girl who Severus noted was a Hufflepuff frowned before realization slipped over her face. “Merlins that’s clever!”

“Mind filling the rest of us in then?” Gilly Somerset a Gryffindor snapped.

“Vera Wang.”

Claudia Eckhart suddenly jumped and started clapping her hands together excitedly. “Harry Winston,” she gushed dreamily her hands on her cheeks.

That seemed to do something because the rest of the girls' eyes lit up and then they were cackling madly and adding more names to the mix. Severus leaned back thoroughly confused. He was glad he wasn’t the only one as the entire room save the thirteen muggle-borns were affecting the same confusion.

“Do you know who those people are?” Filius asked Severus. Despite being a half-blood and knowing a fair bit about muggles in general he did not understand what was going on and shook his head. Filius hummed. “Well, it’s not muggle-born as the muggle-born boys are just as confused as the rest of us. And it's not directly related to the female gender as the younger muggle-born girls don’t seem to understand either. My, this is a conundrum.”

Severus searched out those he knew to be muggle-born and realized Filius was correct. He looked to Albus and saw that the Headmaster was no closer to an answer as the rest of them. Granger then clapped her hands garnering the attention of everyone at breakfast.

“What are you waiting for? Go and plan your weddings.”

******

“WHERE IS SHE?”

Severus looked up from the second breakfast in a row to be interrupted to see Minister Fudge storming down the rows shaking parchments in his hand. Albus half stood.

“Minister. What a pleasant surprise. May I ask why you have graced us with your presence this fine winters morning?”

The Minister, however, ignored Albus greeting altogether spinning and searching the room for someone. “Where is she Albus?” he bellowed again.

“Who, Minister?”

“WHO Albus? Who? Hermione bloody Granger, that’s who. I know she’s behind this.” He shook the stack as if to emphasize the point though no one knew what that was at present. Some sheaths fell from his grasp and floated to the floor. A student surreptitiously grabbed one and looked at it before scrunching his face up in confusion and dropping back on the ground.

“Hello, minister.”

The girl in question had calmly walked up behind the Minister while he was ranting. He turned on her, looking her up and down in derision before shaking the stack of parchments in her face. She smiled politely at him and Severus could see that he was working himself up into an apoplectic rage by the frenzied shaking of his limbs and the purple face he was now sporting.

“You...this...we...”

“Ah yes. We’re ever so glad you got them. We are so excited, aren’t we ladies?”

Titters arose from across the room and Severus made out the twelves muggle-born females from yesterday grinning and giggling like little fools.

“What the devil is going on?” he whispered to Minerva who shushed him and leaned forward.

“This...this... Travesty can not be born,” Fudge managed.

“Oh, but it must Minister. I’m sure your undersecretary explained everything.”

Fudge swallowed audibly. “He did.”

“Then all is well. When will we be getting our first lot of suitors?” Granger asked eagerly.

Fudge seemed to lose the anger he had prepared and stared almost beseechingly at granger. “You’ll ruin us. Surely we can-”

“Oh no, Minister. We were very careful. You can’t back out now.”

The minister's bowl hat dropped onto the ground as he hung his head. He lifted the papers halfheartedly and looked them over. “We couldn’t possibly...”

“It’s the law though Minister,” Granger said lowly her face dropping her enthusiasm and staring at the man in disgust. “You know as well as I do that this law is required. The rates of squib births amongst pureblood have skyrocketed.”

Filius scoffed. “That's not true at all.”

“Shush Filius,” Minerva hissed. “This is too entertaining.”

Warren stood up. “That's right! _We_ are the only ones who can save the population! _We_ are needed to save us from the brink of extinction.”

Severus could not stop the incredulous look he directed at Warren for that ridiculous piece of shit that came from her mouth. Warren was normally a quiet student not prone to dramatics in the slightest. Fudge turned to stare at the young Slytherin a frown marring his face.

“She’s correct,” Montegue said standing as well and looking at Warren and then at the Minister. “The thirteen of us and the twenty-four other muggle-born who fall within the correct parameters will obviously be heroes in the stories to come.”

Gilly Somerset stood up too. “Thirty-six amazing witches single-handedly saving the wizarding world by producing two babies each. Remarkable isn't it?” She blandly turned to face the Minister and glared at him. Fudge spluttered under her unimpressed gaze. Claudia Eckhart who was seated closest to the Minister stood as well and took a step towards the man. He stumbled back.

“Correct me if my math is off Minister Fudge but that would mean seventy-two children will be born in the next five years. How does a rise of only two percent help our population?”

Fudge swallowed heavily and turned away from her, letting out a squark when he ran into Granger. Her arms were crossed and she did not look at all impressed with the man. “That number does seem low Minister. Perhaps you should include the half-bloods as well? Or even the purebloods?”

The subsequent uproar of the rest of the student body caused Fudge to go white. He struggled to get his mouth working and raised his hands for quiet. The students all subsided eager to hear the minister's words.

“Do not fret, students. I will not be enacting another marriage law.”

The students let out a collective sigh of relief and Severus was disgusted by the fact they had been more concerned over the potential their own future in jeopardy than that of the students who were actually caught up in the law.

“So just us then Minister?” Granger asked an eyebrow raised high on her forehead. The Minister said nothing choosing to glare at the Gryffindor instead. She smiled at him and Severus had never seen such a cold look on her face. She leaned over and picked up one of the pieces of parchment he had dropped and thrust it at him. “Very well. You had best get your people filing those then. We very much look forward to our big days.”

“You think you're so clever, Granger?” Fudge said snarling in Granger's face. Severus made to get up, to protect his student from the obviously incensed wizard but Minerva pulled him back down. The Minister grabbed at the parchment she was still holding out to him and held it up to her face before tearing it down the middle. Granger watched it calmly float to the floor.

“Does that mean we’re not getting our weddings? That the law will be rescinded?” She asked mildly. Fudge stared at her angrily.

“Obviously Granger,” he spat and scooped up his hat before storming from the room. The little-know-it all grinned as the other girls let out whoops of happiness and rushed over to congratulate her though for what Severus was still unsure of. He stood up quickly and strode around the table watching as students settled as he barrelled down on them. He picked up a piece of parchment that Fudge had dropped and perused it. Granger was staring up at him with a small smile on her face. 

“What is this?” 

Granger grinned. “It's my wedding plan,” Granger explained sweetly. “You see as we are muggle-borns we are without magical representation in the magical world. As such the ministry usually steps in as a pseudo parent in this case. Within the wedding act, the law is subjecting us to, all costs of the wedding must be paid for by the father of the bride.” 

“But almost no one does muggle weddings in the magical world.” 

“Correct. However, it is well within the right of the muggle-born to request it.” 

Severus smirked and glanced down at the paper again. “And you all requested it.” 

“Even the other muggle-borns outside of the school.” 

“Very clever, witch,” he growled at her. She chuckled and went to move away but he stepped in front of her. She looked up at him. 

“One thing: it had better not be this expensive when we actually get married,” he said lowly ensuring his words wouldn’t be overheard though no one was paying them any attention. Hermione battered her eyes coquettishly and skipped away. He pursed his lips trying to stop himself from smiling at her before spinning and making his way back to the Heads table. He duplicated the parchment wandlessly and handed one to Minerva and the other to Filius as he sat down. He explained Grangers' plan as they perused the lists. 

“Such a clever girl that one,” Filius said with a grin. 

“These items are horrendously expensive. The Ministry couldn't afford one of these weddings let alone thirty-six!” Minerva remarked as she handed her parchment for Albus to look over. He hummed appreciatively. 

“I wonder though...what is the function of a g-string?” 

Almost all the students closest to the heads table gawked awkwardly at the Headmaster's words. Minerva huffed angrily and snatched the parchment from his hands. 

“Kill me now Albus and save me from your foolishness.” 

Severus swallowed his bacon and glanced at Hermione who had overheard the Headmasters question. She giggled and ducked her head. 

Maybe he’d splurge on some of her list after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that: I've noticed there is a secondary chapter note here that I can't seem to get rid of...it's obviously a glitch so just ignore it yeah?

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate ending in the next chapter. It's a little more Hermione x Severus.


End file.
